Miles below the surface buried beneath earth and concrete the only source of illumination comes from a pair of shoulder-mounted flashlights as Tucker creeps stealthily (if such a thing is possible for a man wearing half a ton of powered armor) between rows of towering steel cabinets containing things that for one reason or other were kept as far as possible from where anyone could to them because, y'know that's what you do.30 meters northwest on your waypoint marker
Sif advises, the AI assisting Tucker in this foolhardy venture simply because she had nothing better to do.
"...Where on the what now?"
If she could breathe she'd sigh right about now. ...Just keep walking forwards until you hit the wall. Better yet, stop walking just before that.
"Oh, okay, thanks."You know, you could have gone to the store.
"No way, those assholes charge an arm and a leg! We're trying to save Christmas! We gotta do this right! Some of those hot elf chicks might be real appreciative of my efforts!" I don't particularly want to argue this matter, but I somehow don't think those are the right elves you're thinking of.
"Sure they are! You never saw the Lord Of the Rings movies? Where they went to the North Pole to destroy the One Ringpiece of the Evil Stegasaur and went through the forest of the hot elf chicks? ...Okay, I think this is what we're looking for... is it?"According to the facility's database, this is where the items are stored. The security grid will only stay offline for a few more minutes. I suggest you work quickly.
"Okey-dokey, just needs a little finesse..." He bends down to inspect the locking panel of the storage cabinet, then remembering he doesn't know a god-damn thing about lock-cracking, pulls out his plasma sword and slices it open in one stroke. "Ding!"
Reaching through the cloud of dry ice escaping from the newly unsealed door he pulls out a small rectangular box containing, still in their original wrappings, the worst Christmas cracker jokes ever written
. He wasn't going to open them up to check. Some things weren't worth the risk - they'd been locked away in a high-security subterranean vault for a reason, afterall.
Just then the room comes alive with several high-pitched whines and glowing red dots of light floating in mid-air.I would just like to let you know that the security system has come back online.
The red dots glow redder as the whining is accompanied by a not-at-all-promising chorus of metallic hums.
"Aw, shit. Flying robots."